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They Went Home
They went home and told their wives,
that never once in all their lives,
had known a girl like me,
But... They went home.
They said my house was lickin clean,
no word I spoke was ever mean,
I had an air of mystery,
But...They went home.
My praises were on all men's lips
they like my smile, my wit, my hips,
they'd spend one night or two or three
But...
-Maya Angelou
Remembering
Soft grey ghosts crawl up my sleeve
to peer into my eyes
While I within deny their threats
and answer them with lies.
Mushlike memories perform
a ritual on my lips
I lie in stolid hoplesness
and they lay my soul in strips.
-Maya Angelou
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Exams are finally done and over with. It seemed to pass by in slow motion, but they're done. Finally. As soon as I got done with my last exam, I raced to the library, got myself a good book of poems and started reading. I missed reading to be inspired- so I read until my poor eyes begged me for mercy (at which point I got on here and started typing away, but shush!) :-P I read a few poems by Maya Angelou and I posted the 2 that really called out to me. Sadly, I couldn't spend more time dissecting more of her poems and didn't feel it would do them or me justice to slap some on here without true familiarity.
I had a friend read this poem. I figured it'd be interesting to see the reaction of "a guy's guy" to the works of this amazing being. He said it was a very beautiful poem, but the poet comes off too smug. Like there was nothing wrong with her she was perfect yet men didn't want to be with her. He said "For sure, there has to be something wrong with her- if there wasn't and she was, in fact, so perfect and amazing, why would she be manless?" Hmm. Interesting.
Meanwhile, I explained why the poem called out to me so much- a woman, no matter her caliber- will always have something "wrong" with her if she's single. It isn't about being smug or cocky or even full of one's self- Sometimes women just find the wrong guys (or the wrong guys somehow manage to talk a woman into being a complete buffoon). Once the relationship- whatever its nature, is exhausted, word vomit spews "Can we still be friends?..." You can take that and shove it up you know where.
Let me deviate, for a second here, and analyze the simple, yet complex statement often blurted out by males and females to lighten up a breakup. "Let's just be friends." What this statement really is saying is: While you generally are a good person, you're not good enough. You're not special enough. You just don't do it for me anymore. Or as Miranda Hobbes from Sex In the City once said "I'm just not that into you." Why is it so hard for someone to come right out and say it? Hey, Sorry I wasted your time, but- I've realized I'm just not that into you anymore. In which case, you don't need to be friends. What exactly is this sentence/ question supposed to do? Make a person feel better? Take the pressure off of the person? Make the person feel a little more dignified? Make them feel like they are just a little more in control? "Hey, you suck, but here's a consolation prize- you get to remain friends with me ;-) ..." Hmm thanks, I'll pass.
The second poem I love. It captures the past and the present and the future. I realized I can't really let past experiences bitter me up- lest they lay my soul in strips. =)
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I'm really going to miss the semester. I don't know what to do with myself this month. I mean, I have a few chores to do, a tiny plan that needs to get put into action- which is all going to happen. But I'm going to miss the stresses of school. (Yes, I'm a nutjob :-P I know) I am going to miss my Chemistry class the most :) I made such amazing friends through Chem- I look forward to next semester already! Meanwhile, in the present :-P I know I'm going to frantically read all the poems I possibly can and try to write a little more as well. So keep on reading! :)
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Needs no introduction... Just read.
Still I Rise
You may write me down in history
With your bitter, twisted lies,
You may trod me in the very dirt
But still, like dust, I'll rise.
Does my sassiness upset you?
Why are you beset with gloom?
'Cause I walk like I've got oil wells
Pumping in my living room.
Just like moons and like suns,
With the certainty of tides,
Just like hopes springing high,
Still I'll rise.
Did you want to see me broken?
Bowed head and lowered eyes?
Shoulders falling down like teardrops.
Weakened by my soulful cries.
Does my haughtiness offend you?
Don't you take it awful hard
'Cause I laugh like I've got gold mines
Diggin' in my own back yard.
You may shoot me with your words,
You may cut me with your eyes,
You may kill me with your hatefulness,
But still, like air, I'll rise.
Does my sexiness upset you?
Does it come as a surprise
That I dance like I've got diamonds
At the meeting of my thighs?
Out of the huts of history's shame
I rise
Up from a past that's rooted in pain
I rise
I'm a black ocean, leaping and wide,
Welling and swelling I bear in the tide.
Leaving behind nights of terror and fear
I rise
Into a daybreak that's wondrously clear
I rise
Bringing the gifts that my ancestors gave,
I am the dream and the hope of the slave.
I rise
I rise
I rise.
-Maya Angelou
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And I am quenched.
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