On stereotyping your own race...

I've been in the U.S of A. for a good 11 years now and I never fully understood the cliquey-ness of the Indian culture here. Now before anyone gets their panties in a bunch, I'm not attacking ALL INDIANS EVERYWHERE- I know, I haven't had the pleasure of meetin' and greetin' with my peoples from the motherland who have settled in states other than New Jersey -nor have I met with every Indian settled in NJ- so I'm not generalizing ...just accounting for my personal interactions... Anyhow ... where were we? Oh! Right! Indians- So, my sister jokes that my circle of friends always looks like the United Colors of Benetton ad and I never thought anything of it because I made friends based on personality and never on looks (which you would think is the norm...but apparently not :-P)
Back when I was in college, I never paid attention to what someone wore or how they looked- if they were cool, they could be my peeps. But not with the Indian kids on campus. Nu-uh. You had to dress a certain way, act a certain way- be a certain way (i.e a full-fledged Indian.) One day my girl Angie and I were in the cafeteria and the "cool" kids walked in. I commented about the mob-mentality and wondered why they always gave me the cold shoulder. That's when Angie said "Gurrrrrl, that's cuz you gots some soul in you! You know you don't look Indian! I thought you were from one of the Islands!" I was shocked at first because I never paid attention to the differences as far as looks was concerned but I took it as a compliment (Don't get me wrong, Indians can be BEAUTIFUL... but damn ...some of the stank ass attitudes I've come across negates any hotness)
Anyhow, a few years later, I was back down in South Jersey and my coworker named Shweta was telling me about her parents. She continued to say "Well, you see, in the Indian culture..." I laughed and said ..."Who you tellin'? I know! I AM INDIAN!" She was shocked to say the least. After a few punches in my arm and a few more "NU-UH!! YOU ARE?!"'s she continued with the story then proceeded to invite me to go bowling and shoot some pool with her friends. I accept and meet them at the spot and order a beer. Her friends were all Indians and mostly guys. NONE of them seemed to want to talk to me. Even after the formal introduction, they all pretty much wanted to steer clear of me. Then I hear whispers and I hear Shweta say "No... dude..she's Indian!" (Later I asked her what that was all about and she said they were wondering why she invited me- a non-indian -for the night out) As soon as she said "She's Indian!" I hear a sigh of relief and 4 guys come up immediately and start talking to me. So what? Now all of a sudden because I'm Indian I'm cool? How do they know that I'm not really this devious, bitchy, daughter-of-satan, wretched wench of a female? How does being Indian make me a good person? How does it mean that I have the same morals and values as them? (Since we evidently don't share the same morals and values- And I'm not saying mine are better than theirs or theirs better than mine- it's just different is all I'm sayin') It kinda disgusted me and I must say that I never hung out with them again.
I do get that some people are more comfortable with their own culture or a certain culture... however just because I was born to Indian peoples does NOT mean I am a certain way. It doesn't mean you know me or that you know what I like/prefer. That's worst than someone from outside my culture stereotyping that I have already been 'promised' to man who more likely than not is close to my fathers age. These are MY people.... telling me I have to adhere to certain unwritten, foolish rules and regulations lest I be labled an outcast. I know that even in the melting pot called the U.S.A, every race, every culture, every ethnicity has their own cliques and each clique has their own requirements that one must fullfil. I'm just not ready to accept that I must change who I am to fit in somewhere. Like my idol StaceyAnn Chin says " I want to go down in history in a chapter marked miscellaneous because the writers could find no other way to categorize me ....In this world where classification is key I want to erase the straight lines... So I can be me!"