At the tender age of 27, my bones have been giving out on me. Yes. Giving out on me. I have been so unhealthy and its finally taking a toll on me, all at once. So I'm going to take this as a warning and start making a few minor adjustments that will (hopefully) lead to a few major changes.
I crave sleep now. So I sleep. Will update later. =)
Toodles!
Tuesday, January 29, 2008
Tuesday, January 22, 2008
Face Off
31 days off :) First day of classes.
I walts into the bathroom. As I begin to raise my head to look up- hmm this looks a little different. Head completely raised I walk into the bathroom and realize- urinals. Asian guy, black jacket, blue jeans, black framed glasses cranes his neck to look who entered the bathroom. I barely mumble "opps heh. heh. sorry"
FACE RED.
I run out.
Bump into dude number two walking into the bathroom, already starting to unzip.
FACE PURPLE.
oh...and did I mention I went to my 3rd class of the day and walks in dude #2?
I walts into the bathroom. As I begin to raise my head to look up- hmm this looks a little different. Head completely raised I walk into the bathroom and realize- urinals. Asian guy, black jacket, blue jeans, black framed glasses cranes his neck to look who entered the bathroom. I barely mumble "opps heh. heh. sorry"
FACE RED.
I run out.
Bump into dude number two walking into the bathroom, already starting to unzip.
FACE PURPLE.
oh...and did I mention I went to my 3rd class of the day and walks in dude #2?
Tuesday, January 8, 2008
Giving it up
My girl T and I were having a conversation about how our once tight knit group has dissolved into a vague reminiscence of drunken nights and clammy mornings. While some friends followed their career tangents, some just simply disappeared because they now have a significant other in their lives.
Now, I am just as guilty as them -I am by no means rebuking them of their choice. However, it brings me to question- at what point does one lose their own sense of identity in order to be a part of a relationship? More importantly, why does one lose their sense of identity? It seems like being a part of a (great or ..usually...otherwise) relationship mean that you have to lose yourself, your interests, your being.
Again, I have done this myself, but in the long run it didn't work out. In fact, it made me despise him for slowly stripping me of my own. I grasp the concept of a relationship and I also understand that when you love someone- however provisional or absolute it may be- you want to spend as much time with your significant other. However, where is the balance of keeping your life- your individuality- your persona and still interconnect with your 'main squeeze'? Would you consider giving up things you once loved- the things you chose to do- as a price you have to pay in order to be in a relationship?
Part of me strongly believes that giving up your identity and your interests- giving up a part of YOU- helps a relationship deteriorate quicker than its time. Sure, there are strong urges of spending as much time as you can with your 'sweetie' and all of a sudden the temptaion of creating drunken havoc isn't as enticing as it once used to be. But, it inevitably is like being a kid in a candy shop. You want ALL you can- until you get what you asked for. And then you get sick. And you can't stand the sight of what you once thought you could never have enough of. Thats when the sweetest thing becomes sour. When the cutest gestures become irritating. When cuddly becomes clingy and loving becomes loathsome.
My personal stance- in a good relationship neither you nor your significant other would have to sacrifice yourself, but you would enhance each other in every way possible. I wouldn't have to "give up" friends or nights out with loved ones to a point where people think I've fallen off the planet. And I wouldn't have to "reconnect" with all my friends simply because I now have someone in my life. There is a difference between 'putting her/him first' and having a choice that only encompasses him/her.
I realize that when you love a person or when you accept a person into your life, you're not just accepting that person- you're accepting a whole another lifestyle. You fell for this person when s/he went out 6 nights a week or played basketball 7 days a week or played poker 5 days a month- you fell for this person when s/he had other agendas than to please you. So why try to change it? Now, I know they aren't the best example but in a way I guess Janet and JD are leading an exemplary relationship- JD went to strip clubs before he met Janet...and he still does. I guess when BOTH parties know the line- and don't cross it, you can maintain your identity and still remain the person s/he once fell in love with. And that inturn helps continue to WOW the other person everyday even 15 years down the line. ...any takes?
Now, I am just as guilty as them -I am by no means rebuking them of their choice. However, it brings me to question- at what point does one lose their own sense of identity in order to be a part of a relationship? More importantly, why does one lose their sense of identity? It seems like being a part of a (great or ..usually...otherwise) relationship mean that you have to lose yourself, your interests, your being.
Again, I have done this myself, but in the long run it didn't work out. In fact, it made me despise him for slowly stripping me of my own. I grasp the concept of a relationship and I also understand that when you love someone- however provisional or absolute it may be- you want to spend as much time with your significant other. However, where is the balance of keeping your life- your individuality- your persona and still interconnect with your 'main squeeze'? Would you consider giving up things you once loved- the things you chose to do- as a price you have to pay in order to be in a relationship?
Part of me strongly believes that giving up your identity and your interests- giving up a part of YOU- helps a relationship deteriorate quicker than its time. Sure, there are strong urges of spending as much time as you can with your 'sweetie' and all of a sudden the temptaion of creating drunken havoc isn't as enticing as it once used to be. But, it inevitably is like being a kid in a candy shop. You want ALL you can- until you get what you asked for. And then you get sick. And you can't stand the sight of what you once thought you could never have enough of. Thats when the sweetest thing becomes sour. When the cutest gestures become irritating. When cuddly becomes clingy and loving becomes loathsome.
My personal stance- in a good relationship neither you nor your significant other would have to sacrifice yourself, but you would enhance each other in every way possible. I wouldn't have to "give up" friends or nights out with loved ones to a point where people think I've fallen off the planet. And I wouldn't have to "reconnect" with all my friends simply because I now have someone in my life. There is a difference between 'putting her/him first' and having a choice that only encompasses him/her.
I realize that when you love a person or when you accept a person into your life, you're not just accepting that person- you're accepting a whole another lifestyle. You fell for this person when s/he went out 6 nights a week or played basketball 7 days a week or played poker 5 days a month- you fell for this person when s/he had other agendas than to please you. So why try to change it? Now, I know they aren't the best example but in a way I guess Janet and JD are leading an exemplary relationship- JD went to strip clubs before he met Janet...and he still does. I guess when BOTH parties know the line- and don't cross it, you can maintain your identity and still remain the person s/he once fell in love with. And that inturn helps continue to WOW the other person everyday even 15 years down the line. ...any takes?
Thursday, January 3, 2008
HAPPY NEW YEAR:)
The first post for the New Year calls for some original works of yours truly :-D (they're all copyrighted.. so don't be trynna steal nothin LOL)
Subsistence of a woman
(c) S. G.
Incandescence
Her beautiful hips be swaying as she walks down
that dirt road with baby on her back
Pot o’ water sitting jus right, embracing her curves
Walking those 4 miles, glistening with sweat
No woman looking so stimulating as she slowly wipes
the sweat off the sensual nape of her neck down to her chest
Babies eyes wandering watering the heats burning up
his skin dry, feet rough, hair nappy it ain't even begun
his life into slavery- big he shall become
She know she ain't never gon’ see him once he gone
Born as property, he shall open clenched fists from around his arms
He shall dare think he shall dare learn he shall dare hope he shall dare win.
Unknown to her though, she rises above this with soul that
runs through her veins, her blood, sweat and tears
Each heart beat sending more of that
SWAAAGG through her body
Giving her that curve, that arch, that supple but ripe tone
That distinguishes her that establishes her that elevates her
Earth tone she been earth loved she an earth child
Sun harsh on babies black face black thighs black tries
Honey molasses kisses she can conquer what never was
She ain’t never give up she ain't never break down
Quiet servant woman with the grace of a queen
You see, she is a queen- dignified, exemplified, GLORIFIED.
1/20/07
(
Subsistence of a woman
Dynamic
Out shining me,
you have no place in
This mans world
Loving so truly
Making me feel impotent
My emotions so dull
My love counterfeit
Radiant
Cover yourself up
Behind caked up makeup, silicone
Size 2, poison in your body
You-Too black, too big, too loud
Me the way I am- convenience
I rule this world
And you have work to do.
Intense
Resurrection of perception
picture perfect shell
Seductively submissive
Unseen Underneath
What lies beneath
mother, lover, friend?
No. WOMAN.
(c) S. G.
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